The short answer: the most reliable way to test emotional intelligence in an interview is to ask structured behavioral questions about real situations that required it (receiving criticism, a conflict, a stressed customer, a colleague who was struggling), probe with follow-ups about what the candidate noticed, felt and did, and score every candidate against the same rubric. Look for evidence of four things: self-awareness, self-management, reading others accurately, and handling relationships well. Don’t ask “Are you emotionally intelligent?” and don’t judge EQ from nerves, eye contact or charm.
Example answers are illustrations, not quotes from real candidates.
What emotional intelligence is (and isn’t)
The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines emotional intelligence as the ability to process emotional information and use it in reasoning. In Mayer and Salovey’s model, it has four abilities: perceiving emotions accurately, using emotions to help thinking, understanding emotions, and regulating your own and others’ emotions. The APA also notes that the popular version, from Daniel Goleman’s best-selling book, broadened the definition to include many personality traits.
That distinction matters for hiring: decide which behaviors the job actually needs (for example, staying calm with angry customers, or giving difficult feedback to a team) and assess those, rather than a vague overall “EQ.”
Why structured questions work best
In a large 2022 re-analysis of selection research by Sackett and colleagues, structured interviews had the highest average validity for predicting job performance of the selection procedures studied (.42). Structure means the same job-related questions for every candidate, planned follow-ups, and a scoring guide. Unstructured “getting to know you” conversations are where likability and first impressions creep in.
15 questions to test emotional intelligence
Self-awareness
- “Tell me about a time you received criticism you didn’t agree with at first. What happened?”
- Strong: describes their initial reaction honestly, what they did with it, and what changed.
- Red flag: the feedback was simply wrong, or they can’t recall any.
- “What’s a situation that tends to frustrate you at work, and how do you handle it?”
- “Tell me about a mistake that affected someone else. How did you handle it?”
- “What feedback have you received more than once in your career?”
Self-management
- “Tell me about a time you were under a lot of pressure. How did it affect you, and what did you do?”
- Strong: names the stress and concrete ways they managed it while still delivering.
- Red flag: “I don’t get stressed,” or blaming others for the pressure.
- “Describe a time you had to stay calm when someone was angry with you.”
- “Tell me about a decision you made that you later realized was driven by emotion.”
Empathy and reading others
- “Tell me about a time you noticed a colleague was struggling before they said anything. What did you notice, and what did you do?”
- Strong: specific cues (they went quiet in meetings, missed deadlines unusually) and a respectful action.
- “Describe a customer or stakeholder whose needs were different from what they said they wanted.”
- “Tell me about a time you had to understand a point of view very different from yours.”
Relationship management
- “Tell me about a conflict with a coworker. How was it resolved?”
- Strong: raised it directly, listened, found a shared goal, and the relationship improved or stayed workable.
- Red flag: avoided it entirely, or “won” at the other person’s expense.
- “Describe a time you had to give someone difficult feedback.”
- “Tell me about a time you had to persuade someone who didn’t report to you.”
- “Tell me about a time you helped a team through a tense or uncertain period.”
- “Tell me about a relationship at work that started badly but improved. What changed?”
Follow-up probes that reveal EQ
The follow-ups often tell you more than the first answer:
- “What did you notice in them at that point?”
- “How were you feeling, and what did you do with that?”
- “Looking back, what would you do differently?”
- “How do you think the other person saw the situation?”
- “What happened to the relationship afterwards?”
A simple scoring rubric
| Score | What the answer shows |
|---|---|
| 1 | Vague or hypothetical; blames others; little awareness of own or others’ emotions |
| 2 | A real example, but focused on tasks; limited insight into feelings or perspectives |
| 3 | Clear example; recognizes emotions involved; reasonable action; some reflection |
| 4 | Specific cues noticed; manages own reaction; adapts approach to the other person; good outcome |
| 5 | All of 4, plus insight into the other person’s perspective and a lasting change in behavior |
Score each answer independently before discussing candidates. Our interview scorecard guide has a free template.
Fairness pitfalls to avoid
- Mistaking confidence or charm for EQ. Smooth talkers can score high on likability and low on empathy.
- Judging nerves or body language. Interview anxiety, eye contact and expressiveness vary across cultures and between neurotypical and neurodivergent people, and aren’t reliable signs of EQ.
- Self-rating questions (“Would you say you’re empathetic?”) invite rehearsed answers.
- Personality or EQ questionnaires on their own: if you use them, treat them as one input alongside structured interview evidence.
For candidates: how to show emotional intelligence
- Bring real stories for criticism, conflict, pressure and helping others, using the STAR method.
- Include what you noticed and felt, not just what you did: “I could tell from his short replies that he was overwhelmed, so I…”
- Show the other side’s perspective and what you learned.
- Show it live: listen to the whole question, ask a clarifying question, and stay composed if the interviewer pushes back.
Related guides: how do you handle criticism, how do you handle conflict and how do you handle stress.
Frequently asked questions
How do you test emotional intelligence in an interview?
What are good emotional intelligence interview questions?
What is emotional intelligence?
What are red flags for low emotional intelligence in an interview?
Can you judge emotional intelligence from body language?
Sources
- American Psychological Association, APA Dictionary of Psychology: emotional intelligence. Read on 1 October 2026.
- Paul R. Sackett et al., Revisiting the design of selection systems in light of new findings regarding the validity of widely used predictors, Industrial and Organizational Psychology (2023), Table 1 (summarizing Sackett et al., 2022). Read on 1 October 2026.
